You do not know me, but I believe you did not intentionally kill your gf. I am praying for you. I trust that God has a plan for your life an amazing one. He will keep you safe, don’t worry! (I know it is easier said than done) but he will look after you and protect you. Please try and ask him for help. He is God and he loves you soo much despite everything. I really pray God’s blessings on you. You will continue to be in my prayer.